“There is something which always happens out of nothing”
So very true when all I found was nothing in my empty capsule of living. I needed a change and what I needed was a companion who could listen but not advise, who could comfort me but not worry me with their troubles, who could teach me differently but not in the name of any institution.
I wanted a difference in my routine, of looking at my next coming days with some new excitement.
Deciding thus, I got along a pair of white doves expecting nothing more than just a pet at home and fondly called them Raja and Rani. Thankfully my mom was supportive in terms of letting the pair reside under the same roof.
I never believed in clasping anybody’s freedom, so I decided not to cage them. The doves were free to explore my house and live at their own comfort levels. However, it took them sometime to accept the new space and the new faces. They would initially hesitate to visit us in close proximities. With the days rolling by, they recognized our existence along with them and accepted us being part of their life. Raja moved in first to touch us and sat on my shoulder and slowly Rani budged in as well.
I used to feed them, clean their droppings and gave them water to quench their thirst. I remember waking up in the morning and finding Rani happily sleeping next to my pillow with her eyes closed. Raja was relaxing in the far corner of the hall where we kept our footwears. During the daytime, they’d follow my mom all around when she went in for the household chores.
When the television went abuzz, they’d join us in watching together and happily sat on top of the claypot, at a foot’s distance away from the dumb box. Raja would twist and turn his head in amazement when the volumes soared high.
Weeks counted on the calendar and I was simply taken by the new members in the house. I would return home to find them fluttering their wings. I took them as a token of appreciation of showing up on time.
One lazy afternoon, watching one of the painstaking programs on the television, I thought of something which my friend had told in one of our casual conversation. About how to let go someone and if that someone returns back to us then that someone will remain with us forever in our lifetime. For that someone really loves us and would give away everything to be with us. Pondering over the thoughts, I was curious to know whether Raja and Rani were made for me, whether they really did like our company and our small house.
The door to my house was opened and the couples were free to explore the other possibilities. At first, Raja and Rani hesitated to step outside and later on they walked into the balcony and felt the fresh air. Their wings fluttered in so seemed excitement. I had a choice of shooing them to the indoors or just letting them feel the moment. Mind traversed with the options upfront and then I walked into the corner and let them embrace THEIR moment.
Rani started gazing at the sky and walked in a few steps to the corner of the balcony and was doing her titanic pose. In fraction of few seconds she gathered her courage and winged her way to the skies. She started circling in motions on top of my house in sheer excitement. From there she could see the colony, at the same time feel the wind and look down at the materialistic world. Standing by the corner, my jaws dropped in awe.
Raja slowly followed her to the skies and was flapping his wings in a very amateurish style. He blindly followed Rani in circles and for once made me think of moments rejoicing in freedom. They were together in whatever they did and none ever hesitated to compliment others attitude in exploring the new possibilities. They flew in the blue skies, just above my house and now were part of the God’s roof of living.
It was then that I rethought of the conversation, what goes off comes back to you if it is really yours. I had smile, an assurance that they’d return and tell me, in their own language, about their experience.
I saw them flying up and above, heard their wings flapping. I waited, not realizing that the moments mounted into hours and rolling into days and they were just there, right above my house, flying at their leisure and forgetting all about the life they had with me in my very own nest where they were respected of their individuality. I still convinced myself that they lost their way back home and they’d return.
Slowly they disappeared from the vicinity and into the deeper skies. They were gone. Raja and Rani chose their own ways of enjoying their living. And I was not part of it. That is when I realized that they didn’t belong to me and they were belonging to the upper skies. Somewhere I sensed their happy moment together and assumed them smiling at each other.
Wings flapping on arrival may not necessarily be the token of appreciation of showing up, so I thought, they could also be perceived as "Look I've got wings and I wanna use them, let me out and embrace the skies and my freedom"
A metaphor of life this time… inwardly speaking to me and reminding me of yet another instance. And this time, I stared at the skies, jaws dropped down, not in awe but in brooding over my anxieties.
Transfixing my state of mind, yet another lost flight of time decorated my memory.
What you see is not what you get and what you get is not what you see.
However, this time, the guardian angels are besides me, so say my horoscope for the month. However, this time, I so want to believe in every word they say.